Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Houston, we have a blender
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Randomize
