I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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