And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
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