trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
