I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
