Please, let me fuck your mom
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
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