Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Randomize
