u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
tell me about the eggs
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
