you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Randomize
