My room smells like vodka and shame
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
