She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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