Three words: puerto rican gang bang
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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