My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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