i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize
