"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
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