Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Randomize
