he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
