Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
