dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
She's like a pop up book from hell.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
