HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
