You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
worst night to have a conscience
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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