I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
