I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
