I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
