Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
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