i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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