No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
