i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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