I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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