I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
