Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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