I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
she peed on how many people?
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
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