I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize