just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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