Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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