Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
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