well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Randomize
