She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
