then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
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