It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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