And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
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