It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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