I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
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