Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
