After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
