Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
