woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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