i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
