wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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