why do cheetos always look like penises
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
