he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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