Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Can I color on your dick again?
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
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