Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Randomize
