Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
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