I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize