I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
