eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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