just come out here and I will go home with you...
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
