Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
did i walk over a car last night?
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
