It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
she peed on how many people?
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
