Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Randomize
